What does this mean? Am I opening Commissions again? Well...

    During the summer I spent a large chunk of time working on extremely overdue projects, and even though I had closed commissions I was still working on them because I had a few past due projects on my plate. They became more and more overdue and I became less and less willing to work on them. To say my stress levels were high, well, that would be an understatement. "how would I be able to attend school if I can't even handle this?!" was on my mind quite a lot. To make matters worse, I am a terrible communicator. I have a hard time coming to commissioners with news that I still have not finished the project. This is my main reason for being reluctant to open commissions back up, even though I am not attending school.

So... What would need to be done differently?

I also will probably require a bit more artistic freedom in my commissions. In the past I have allowed commissioners a large amount of control, which I try to do my best to accommodate. I have to admit though, on occasion it can be hard to do. I can't word this in any sort of eloquent way... I want to be allowed to see what I can do with what the commissioner asks for. I am totally understanding if I need to fix a mistake I made on a character's design or if I need to re-spell something. What rubs me the wrong way is when people get a little... nit-picky, I guess. Nit picking is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. Its not very constructive and makes me feel like the commissioner doesn't trust my ability to complete the artwork to sufficient standards.

If you're the sort of commissioner that really likes to have a lot of control, perhaps consider another artist who is more skilled or more prepared to handle this sort of working environment. I'm a sensitive person with anxiety issues, and while I can handle constructive criticism I have a much harder time understanding the need to have such detailed control in a work you are having someone else do for you (for a relatively cheap price, I might just point out). I do my best to take a look at the artwork through the commissioner's eyes as I read their feedback regarding my work. It can sometimes be a rather difficult thing to do. Hey, maybe I'm being too soft, but it tears me down pretty quickly if it feels like every little thing needs to be re-done. Please think about the fact that while I am fairly decent, I am at a certain skill level and have not yet reached such a high level of ability to create at the standards of professional illustrators. That's all I have to say on this matter.

    I hope that my late night ramblings about my fears of commissions has not put anyone off, as that was not my intent. I simply meant to shine a little light on why the thought of taking commissions now puts a knot in my guttyworks, when it once gave me a rush. I do want to at some point try them again, provided people are willing to communicate via E-mail, keep the character count low, and let me have a bit of freedom. It seems like not much to ask. What do you guys say?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Question Time!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If anyone reads this, I would like real comments regarding this issue. Has anyone else ever struggled with finding the right balance of commissions - personal life - school or work? If you commissioned me in the past, what are your thoughts on my feelings towards freedom vs control? I know I have made a few commissioners wait very extended periods of time due to my foolishly taking several on at once. Do you feel as though taking commissions one at a time will make a difference? For those of you who were interested in commissioning me, what are you thinking now that you have read this journal?